Kay and I have been meeting with a financial counselor. His job is to help us understand where we are financially as we look into the future. He has not yet jumped up and said, “What were you thinking?” He is very gracious and kind.
I don’t know how much preparation for the future is enough, but I’m guessing that almost everyone would say, “I need more than I have now.”
This morning, these thoughts came to me during our church service.
Philip told Jesus, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” [John 14:8]
There are times I feel like if God would just show me the pile of money, it would be enough for me.
So Jesus said to the official, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.” [John 4:48]
I can identify. I’d like a sign that I’ll have enough. I would like to stand in wonder of the pile of cash ready for my future.
Thomas, the doubter, said, “Unless I see the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” [John 20:25]
Yep. I want to see it. I want to feel it.
“Though Jesus had done so many signs before the people, they still did not believe in him.” [John 12:37]
Ouch! Jesus has done many signs in my life. Ministry partners have faithfully financed our ministry for 35 years. We’ve raised 3 kids. Three kids have gone through college and come out with minimal educational debt. Two kids have married. God has provided.
But they still did not believe…
I’ve wondered, “How many years does someone have to follow Jesus before believing and trusting him becomes automatic, no-questions-asked?” I have no idea, but it must be more than I’ve followed him. He has provided every step of the way. In my head, I know he will provide in the future. In my heart, I’m still struggle wanting more than it looks like I’ll have.
Pretty pathetic, isn’t it! How do you live out full-of-faith each day?
jonathan says
transparent thoughts, dad. thanks for putting it in context of scripture that speak to the issues you (really, WE) struggle with. the reality of the world…pain, difficult situations, suffering…these are what tend to FORCE me back into “full-of-faith” living. though i must continually lean into the grace of the gospel, for my faith is rarely, if ever, “full”
thanks for words of reminder